procrastination....

I've been thinking.
The truth is I think too much. How can people think less and work enough? I suppose I have a hyper active brain, each and every moment I'm awake, I think. I think, I dream, I procrastinate. We all do these things. But some people talk less, some people work hard. I'm not one of them. I'm more of a wordy type. Is there something I can do to change it? I guess not. Or may be..... I can try.
I think of trying, I always try to keep on trying, and apparently I fail. But of course, that gives me more chances to try; so I always try.
I was just enjoying my shower the other day, and thinking why can't I keep on enjoying it till I want?
Of course there is another paradoxical question there, if I could enjoy it as long as I wished to enjoy it, could I keep on enjoying it for long?
If I keep on typing I can type for longer than I usually do.
I've been listening to this song now, it's a song by Toploader, named "dancing in the moonlight". I fell in love with it while watching "A walk to remember".
My mom's sort of shouting and my elder sister's been annoyed about almost everything that surrounds her. Everything she sees when she's out is depressing and she keeps on talking about those when she's back home. The world isn't a calm and quiet place but there are alleviating things things all around us. Like Toploader's Dancing in the moonlight. OR Harry Nilsson's ''Puppy Song''. And there's Mandy Moore singing "Someday we will know" that asks a weird question "did the captain of the Titanic cry?"
See there's hope! She's singing
"one day I'll go dancing on the moon........
someday we will know why Samson loved Delilah ''.
If we don't know something today, may be there's a hope for tomorrow.
My father's still lecturing, oh I hate people lecturing to me. Luckily he's not lecturing to me.
Sometimes we fly, with no apparent reason. Today is a day for that mysterious flight. "Dare I to move......... Dare I to run..." that's a lovely song. I started loving Switchfoot after I've heard their song "You". It's not inspiring like "Dare you to move", but probably it's true that the saddest songs are the most loved songs.
Oops father's getting more and more annoying with his lecture....
Guess I should just post my blog and get up and leave this room.
But I'll wait till I finish listening to the last song in my playlist, "Only Hope" it's Mandy Moore again.... oh this song is lovely.
Why do people always talk so much?
I don't know.
Ok, dear blogspot, I'm gonna go now.... and you're gonna rest in peace till I come back!
See you soon then!
Bye

I've just read someone's blog on blogspot and felt like writing something (in English, like her). Well, I guess I don't sound very bright (what kind of a stupid likes to write a blog after reading someone else's, anyway!) but I'm writing. Sometimes there aren't much point of doing something or rather not doing something, but yet we do it.
I sometimes imagine myself as a scientist (oh, I know that's a stupid thing to do). I like to do it. I imagine myself with dorky glasses, dry skin (guess I already have that), less hair (how very very awful!) and oh of course a quiet life....... yes, that's the most important part- "a quiet life". Life's never been a prize for me, in fact the case is quite contrary, yet I love life... sometimes I do. I guess that's life, and that's love. Could you ever define love? Could you ever find a reason behind loving someone? I know it's hard. No one actually did it. Tagore tried, but only with a question, of course a silly one, "oh darling, what is love?" I sometimes think of it that way. If I hate someone (I do unfortunately hate quite a few number of people apart from the famous politicians or vile terrorists) can I manage to ask him/her,"oh disgusting, what is hatred?" ha ha... that would be a funny thing to ask anyway. I can imagine their faces, faces staring back at me, faces full of loath and disgust. How can two people mirror each other when they hate each other is really a miraculously interesting thing. But how can two people NOT mirror each other when they love each other is also a miraculously interesting thing. I guess, hatred must be stronger than love. Could two people hate each other as long as they live? - Oh yes, they can, it is very possible. But could two people love each other for as long as both shall live?- Umm... I guess not.... love is always interrupted, with people, with hate sometimes, with fear and envy and also with time.... Time heals a lot of thing, it heals pain and it heals hopes too.... or rather it washes away hopes and sometimes even without any mark of it's past. Funny.....
Lovers do get tired. Don't they?
I've seen them getting tired.... exhausted....
but does hate ever evaporates?
oh, probably when it did I wasn't there, so, I wasn't lucky enough to see it.

...........................
Have I started with a vision of being a scientist?
oh I was quite lost, for I didn't mention, that wasn't a dream of being a scientist that actually was a hidden desire of having a quiet and peaceful life.
How about spending it near Malibu beach? I've always wanted to be there.
Not as a scientist, only as me.
When I was young I've once read an article on how hard it is to become yourself, how the world is full of clones but not full of individuals. I thought, funny how people like to imitate others, they can just be themselves. That's not very hard anyway............ but now I know, how wrong I was. It really isn't easy, in fact it's nearly impossible.
How many successful people are remembered? Very few. I guess those were the ones who were themselves, no matter what, no matter when...... all that they have ever tried to be was themselves. That's why they are the one's who are still alive.
That isn't really easy....... now I know............
but does this knowledge help?
anyway, the post is getting very long and tiring.
Let's bid adieu now.