Rainy

It's just stopped raining. I was dying to go out and scream and run wild like some of the guys were doing. Do they know that they belong into the "happier" class, while (being a woman and being where I am right now) I belong to the "disadvantaged" or "suppressed" (I can't find the proper word, sorry about that) class?

Leave it. It's over now and I must head back home. I'm really terrified of traffic jam.


But I guess there's something wrong about this moment or all the moments I pass. Most of the times they are "unhappy".Why?
God can answer. Let's leave it to him. I was terrified of the exam too before I left home for university. But it went well, despite the fact that, I swallowed almost a dozen "Dhomok/Dhamki" from our Structured Programming teacher, Who happens to be an ex-artillery and fond of "Dhomka-Dhomki".
However, it is "hojomed" pretty well. And I got 20 out of 20 today,of course I was undeserving of it,but sometimes God gives me more than I wish for or deserve. But I continue to be unhappy, coz He gave few things in plenty, and few things so little that it becomes hard to thank Him,frankly. But I'm thanking Him now, not because I should or not because I have to, but because "I'd love to". And that's pretty important.

Anyway, today is my BIG BROTHER's birthday. I dropped him a wish but don't know if he'll have time to check his mails. So here's another birthday wish for "Vaiya",
"Happy Birthday, Vaiya."
oh...... it's hard to express how I feel even in Bangla.And when I'm forced to write in English (like now), it's even worse. Besides, I'm bad with emotions:(.
But sometimes I miss Vaiya so much....
 Today I badly feel that I could wish him and see him here, while it's raining and it's so beautiful outside.
I sometimes whisper to Allah. I'm not sure if it bothers Him or not.
Is he listening? I don't know.
But I'm whispering......
I'll be whispering.........
till the last moment my senses stay with me.